"The One With English"

The power of music.

Recently, I've been confusing what I really want to do as my job. I mean...

When I realized that the reason why I play and compose music was let me know about myself through all the music I composed, I thought I had lost the reason that I play, compose and sing. But lately, I've just feeling like music is really important for my life and I wanna sing, and play music more in the future as I've been doing untill now. Sometimes I picture myself who is singing with playing a guitar with my friends in Canada. you know, What if somebody who I'll meet in my future in Canada offered me to sing in the band they have, and what if I became a official member of them and compose d music with them? How great is this? I mean, I know I've wanted to be with music in any way. So, I imagine like thouse things means I still want to play and sing and compose music. I guess I started lookning at music from different point of view than I'd been doing.

To be honest, even since when I started to find another one instead music for my job, music has been always fascinating and engaging me, I think. Maybe I need to figure out what I really wanna do in my future...

The result of TOEIC

I took TOEIC about two weeks ago, and I've got the result of that today.

The score was 670 points. I'm glad to get the score, I mean since when I started studying English not only about listening and speaking, but reading or things to do on a desk since this April, the target score on this time TOEIC which I decided at the time was over 600 points, so aparently I achieved the target, and my English skill improved over 150 points. So absolutely there's no sadness or regret or something like that. But I can't fully understand, I mean, when I finished answering the exam, I thought i might could get over 700 points on this time TOEIC because the listening section was kind of easy a little for me, but, I coudn't.

So, I was thinking of the next target that I want to get over 730 points on next TOEIC on Decenmber, but I changed my mind because of this time's TOEIC score.

The next target is get over 800 points. I have almost a half year to prepare for next TOEIC, so if I study hard, maybe I can get the score. I believe in me, I want to , I have to.

You guys will see me get over 800 points on next TOEIC!

The reason for me.

I've been thinking for a long time that the reason why I've been playing and composing music was to let everyone know about me, to let everyone know that I'm just existing in this world. But aparently, that was wrong. Not worng, but also not right.

Everything has a reason. Everyone has a reason. Yes, sometimes there're things that doesn't have a reason why they are doing so. Yet in many cases, people have a reason. Things have a reason. But many people don't dig down the reason, and some of them don't care about that, and some of them don't notice about that, I mean they're just not aware of the reason in many cases.

As I just said, since I thought the reason why I've been playing and composing music was to let everyone know about me, the songs I've been composing was always about me, about myself. I wanted to express myself through my music, I wanted everyone who doesn't know me to know me. But I don't know exactly when, but I just realized that the one who should know about me through the music, was not everyone. That, was me. I was the one who actually doesn't know me, should know me. So, now I can see those music stuff from different point of view. Since I was the one who doesn't know me, I wrote lylics about myself. Since I was the one who should know me, I wrote lylics about me, all the time.

So now, I realized that the reason and the meaning to play and compose music for me, and knew about actual me, so I don't have the reason that I play music except being just loving music as kind of my hobby.

Maybe I'm continuing to play music, and sometimes compose music, but that's it. Music is just one of my hobby for me but still it's a very important thing in my life, but now I'm ok without having music to know me. I guess it's almost the time to move on, look for something new for me. I love music, I love myself, and now I'm gonna change into new "me" that no one knows, even I don't know. I really wanna meet him soon. I can't wait!

The Enemy of studing abroad

These days, I just feel that maybe I need to start preparing soon for going abroad next year. Actually, I'm still unsure about the details, but maybe it's time to think to make sure I can go abroad, so I have to do what I need to do.

First, I need to renew my passport. Mine is already not available lol. Second, I need to make application to government for getting Working Holiday Visa which is gonna start to recruit for would-be applicants on this October. Third, technically it's suppose to be before the second, is to get a plain ticket for Canada before appling to government because I need to submit the documents with my plain ticket.

Woo, there're so many other things to do before I actually go to abroad. My desicion that I don't use some Agent who get a lot of many including unnecessary one instead of FAKE RELIEF to put the people at their ease which does not actully make any sence, but yes, they do tiresome things like as I am writing, would make my tasks gain more than people using the Agent. But it's ok because that's my own disicion, people should do what they can do on my own. I won't regret not using agent!

Make your dream come true.

One of my friends that I've been really worried about since about a month ago, becuase he kind of had been troubled with his some personal things, especially his future, kind of solved his troubles by talking to his mom. I'm so glad to hear that.

I think he is so sensitve about so many things. Thinking of something is really good, but sometimes, thinking bothers us to do something, thinking makes us hesitate to do something. It's very important to consider about anything in one's life. But sometimes there is time that we should just do what we really want to do without any thoughts what we are worried about.

He was kind of thinking too much before he actually does anything. And he has been doing a lot against the Japanese society like a child. But I know he was very confused, he can be easily influensed, he suffers so eaier than he thinks. That's why he is always tired, that's why he is always worried about something.But he knew that he needed somebody's help, needed to be strong enough to fight in today's society.

He has a big dream that he want to be a musician, and famous, and popular I guess. So now he just needs to do what the essential in order to be the one in his future. He now realized that, I think. So just go for it! Do the things as possible as you can to make your dream come true!

Hello again!

Hi guys! I've not written this blog almost over 3 months. It turned out that I was so lazy. lol. I'm so bad at keeping on doing something for a long time, but since when I just became not to write the diary, I had became so busy with work in GEOS.

I started working for GEOS since February. I was working 5 days or 6 days a week during on spring vacation. So, now you know why I couldn't wirte here for a while.

From now on, I'm gonna try to keep writing the diary at least once a week. About my feelings in my live, my thoughts, myself, terrible things, good things, in short anything I want to write. I don't know how many people read this diary but it doesn't matter. The important thing is to express about me in English. But visitors are always welcome to my blog!

Ok, first I've gotta tell you guys that I changed the name of the blog to "The One With English". It's just about me. The one is me. I'm with English. I learn English. That's it. Anyway, I feel like I'm alive in new life lately, but meanwhile, there're people who are troubled with something very important for them. I wanna help them. Especially my friends. I just wanna tell my friends that don't be so anxious for starting doing something new. You just don't have to think of so many things before you actually do something. I mean, you just need to do what you want to without any thoughts of what you're worried. Just go for it!

All I have to do when the thing happenes to me.

I've not written to here for a long time. But that doesn't mean that nothing has happened to me whole time, you know.

Actually, I've kind of decided to do what after graduating from my university. Yes, I was suppose to have decided arleady about those things, but sometimes my mind was not sure what if I want to do after I grduated school. But now, my mind clearly know what I want to do and I should do. I made my own dicision. I want to go abroad to study English more and to work in overseas to improve my English skill, my working skills, and myselves. I know it's hard to work in abroad where I don't know what the places are like and even what people are there. But I know I want to.

Unfortunately, my passion for music is gone somewhere but intead of getting new things what I want to do. How great is this? Yes, I thought this is horrible for me to change my mind from music to another thing at the begging, but now, I could say I'm proud of my life. Life is really really difficult for all people in the world. But once I changed my point of view about what life is, then I realized that the life has a lot of sides increading a simple side. So I figured out that how simple sides life has. I know there is no answer about what life is, but I think we can get it with knowing what I want to do, how I want to live.

So, all I want to say is I eventually realized what I want to do. But I know, life is really unknown, especially about future. So prehaps I'm gonna get a change in my mind, a big change in my mind, again, as I did once. But if it's gonna happene to me, I will follow my thoughts, my passion, my mind. This is all I have to do when the thing happene to me.

「Back to the Baby」

This is my lylic of my song. The thema is how people helped us in any situations in our life. In order not to forget about that, I write this song. Once you read this lylic, you soon realize how simple this story is. I hope you guys find what I want to vocal.



「Back to the Baby」

One sunny day I woke up early in the morning
And I felt just a little weird
I didn't know why but my body is not working
Then I was reflected in the TV

Oh my god! Maybe I'm a little baby!
I just don't believe this! I can not even say something in my head
I can't stand up on my own! I can't move as I like
So at that time all I can do is that

I'm just crying as all baby do
Who can stop me crying is only you
There's nothing that I can do makes me poor
Back to the baby
Why that happened to me?

One cloudy day I and mam went out together
It smelled like it's gonna be rain
I was held in her warm arms and she opened her umbrella
So I kept from the raining

Oh my love Mary! Hey! I'm just here! Look at me!
I shouted for her help in my mind so she can not here me say
Wow! How big is this dog!? Just coming toward me
Please! Just get out of here
Don't lick my face

I'm crying again as all baby do
Who can stop me crying is only you
There's nothing that I can do makes me poor
Back to the baby
Why that happened to me?

I fell a sleep
'cause I cried too much and be tired
And I realized how much people helped me
I will never forget about it

I'm just crying as all baby do
Who can stop me crying is only you
There's nothing that I can do makes me poor
Back to the baby
Why that happened to me?

I'm crying again as all baby do
Who can stop me crying is only you
There's nothing that I can do makes me poor
Back to the baby
Why that happened to me?

RESOLUTION

Do you have any resolutions of this year? To be honest, I don't have that yet. But I know one thing that I have something that I kind of have to do, you know. But as I wrote here before, I think "health" is the key to the happy.

I have written here about this too, most of people forget about how happy to being healthy is, being in good, you know, I just don't wanna forget about that whenever. And also, we have to appliciate we can eat food everyday, everytime, we can do anything we want to do, you know, for like that. How happy the usual things are. We need to remind of that sometimes.

Do you guys think why I'm saying something like that? Because of... "Ora no Izumi" which is a TV proglam. Ehara san who is cast of the TV proglam, and also Akihiro Miwa, say amazing words!! Two of them are really really terrific person. I learn a lot things from words of them. If you haven't saw that, you have to see that. You soon get something good for you. I promise. I swear.

SKIN

I jast... I just don't feel "that is something what I've been searching for!" about the skin of this blog.
I don't feel that way from anything.

Hmm~...
I need something new!!